I must confess that over the years, in different seasons of my life, I have struggled with an identity crisis, questioning “Where am I from?” In one’s life, where we are ‘from’ can easily label us…and that can often be a good label or a bad label, depending on where we are in the world and who we are talking with. Spending significant periods of my life in various locations has often brought confusion to this perceived easy question.
When I was in high school at the American School in London, we knew not to ask where someone was from…rather we asked where did you last live? Many of my fellow students did not have a single location they called ‘home,’ for many of them had lived in a variety of cities around the world, rarely spending time in their native country.
Here in Cape Town, when someone asks me where I’m from, I of course say Tacoma (or Seattle)…for that is the city of my childhood, where my family currently lives and where I have last resided…however, I do not feel like Tacoma holds the fullness of my identity. For many of you know, part of my heart belongs to London. For those that want to learn more about me, I share about moving to London at the age of 14 and staying there for 4 ½ years, then moving back to the States for 4 years to attend university in Seattle, and then back to London for 3 more years to obtain my Masters, and then back to the States for 2 ½ years…back and forth between cultures at different seasons in my life! Will I ever plant my feet in one place? To be honest I love the moving around, for each location change has been strategic for what the Lord wants to teach me and those he wants me to come in contact with. Granted I am still single, so in moving I am not yet thinking of a husband and kids…hopefully that will one day change? (Amen to that!)
It’s been fascinating being an American many miles away from ‘home’ and learning about how we and our country are perceived oversees. I definitely grew up hearing how the Brits perceived us (I’ll save that for another story), but it has been fascinating to learn how we are viewed in Africa. To some we are seen as do-gooders, people with hearts of compassion who come over to this continent to help and serve…to others we are seen as incredibly wealthy (which in many ways we are), leading glamorous lives and mixing with celebrities…but to others we are seen as arrogant and selfish, thinking of our own political interests. Making cross-cultural relationships wherever you live is so important. When we are vulnerable and real with each other, stereotypes and cultural walls begin to break down. Wrong perceptions can destroy potential friendships!
Right now all conversations about the States are wrapped up in politics and our upcoming election. I have been amazed to learn that many Africans are more on top of my presidential campaign than I am! (Actually that probably doesn’t surprise many of you, as I could freely predict the Oscars or Tonys, but have no clue what is going to happen in the polls!) I have been asked over a dozen times by random people here, “Who are you going to vote for?” It always catches me by surprise for I was always under the inclination that that is a private and personal question. It got to a point one day that I was so frustrated at being asked who I thought the next president was going to be that Rene, my housemate, told me to just smile and ask them back “Who will be the next leader of South Africa?”…they too will be coming up to elections soon and are in desperate need of change…and an appropriate leader for the time. So who do the Africans want for our next president…well, I’ll leave that to you to guess??
In closing, I find the most peace in knowing that my eternal home is with Jesus. Even if I’m culturally misunderstood and feel at times that I don’t fit in…I am completely accepted and understood (even in my complexity) by our loving God!
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